# 187 } half-way.

When I went for commencements last night at Cempaka, it was then I started thinking and I realised how insignificant I was, all my life in Cempaka.

When I arrived, everyone just kept looking at me, knowing they'd probably seen me somewhere before. Of course they would have forgotten me.

To think I never managed to get on that stage during Commencements through the years. It's pretty saddening actually.
For a prefect that quit because the board went against all my self morals.
For a student that only managed the top ten percentile.
I suck.

The number of times I'd try to tell myself I'm not doing enough when everyone around me were praising me all the time. All the time I knew I wasn't.

I can swim, but I'm not excellent at it.
I can dance, but I'm not brilliant at that.
I can get a few As occasionally, but that's never enough isn't it?

Was I just wasting my secondary school life?


Don't get me wrong, everyone out there yesterday deserved all those awards. :)

At least, amongst all my thoughts, Sugeeta's family were so extra nice to me. From offering me their home-cooked vegetarian food when the dishes provided by the caterers tasted like crap, and making me laugh during the Opera singing - so much so I had to excuse myself. And Sugeeta, earning like 4 different awards (and Charis had three!!) . Gosh, they're such geniuses.

And of course, all my other friends who were there that night. They really put a smile on my face. That night, when I took a ride home with Jun Jet, I just thought -- how much more would I have to do in Taylors to maybe be geniunely good at something?


And then today, when I heard how people were talking about how, even Cyril who didn't study managed to get the same grade as me in IGCSEs when I studied. So maybe I just stink.

universal mind control;